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Posts tagged “Photograph

Take Too Many Pictures

I recently started writing a song called ‘Pictures’ which I may or may not finish in time to put in the upcoming album.

The idea behind the song, like many of my songs, is quite simple. It says to take a picture that will remind you of laughter, of joy and of a time when all was well. As when times are hard we will need something to hold to. Something to remind us that things aren’t forever bleak.

There is something about  the early hours of the day that can either spark creativity or depending on where one is emotionally, nostalgia. And as I write this blog, it is about 3am and I’m trying to fight off this wave of melancholy that has been trying to beat me over these last few months. I’ve had some ups and downs over those months and it finally seems to be getting the upper hand, so I must make a conscious effort to improve my disposition.

People often wonder why I take so many pictures and they always fear my candid pictures. My reasons are purely selfish. I just want to remember. People come in and out of my life all the time. I want to be able to look at a picture that will remind me of that moment. The poses won’t always do it. A picture of someone pulling a face at me in some random pub, will tell me more of that person and my relationship with them at that time than any posed picture.

Anyway, I want to share a very short story with you about why I take too many pictures. And why I care not for your vanity when these pictures are taken. I just want to remember you in that moment. I want to capture and keep that moment and remember it for as long as I live.

Many of you already know about my time living in a homeless hostel. Well, while I lived there, I made friends with two particular people within the place. We’ll call them Jack and Jill.

They helped make my time in the hostel bearable. It was hard for all of us, but often when we would just come together at night and share our time, things didn’t feel so bad. Jack always had a smile on his face, he always laughed, he always sought the lighter side of all that was around us. Eventually I left the hostel and was slowly able to begin moving upwards socially. I found a job, entry level Data Entry, but it was a start for me. And at 20 I just wanted to make money to live and begin pulling my life back together at a time when I never thought it was possible.

Nevertheless, I didn’t keep in touch exceptionally well with Jack and Jill, but I know they eventually got together and had some kids. A boy and a girl. At some point my life path merged with Jill’s for a while. As a result I was able to see Jack much more. In time Jill and I grew apart, but we still spoke every so often.

One night I called Jill just to see how she was, and she told me Jack had died. Killed himself a few days ago. There are no words for the grief felt at that point. I’m not a fan of tears, I don’t shed them often. But I shed them in bucket loads then. I ranted, I raved, I raged at the heavens during those few weeks. I attended the funeral with Jill. We were all in a daze. We lived through it all. And somehow continued to strive.

Years later, as I think back on those times, I cannot for the life of me remember what Jack looked like. I haven’t a single picture of him anywhere. There is no log somewhere saying we shared our lives with each other at one point. Nothing showing the emotional strains shared. No black book detailing that period of our journeys. Nothing.

So now, I take too many pictures. I take candid pictures, I take posed pictures. If you’re in front of my camera, it means I want to remember you, as you are. You have worth to me in that exact moment, no matter what you think you look like. I want you in my memories.

When you smile,

I’ll take a picture.

When you laugh,

I’ll take a picture.

When you frown,

I’ll take a picture,

I make you growl,

And take a picture.

When you squirm,

I’ll take a picture.

Cause you to shout,

and take a picture.

When we’re together,

I’ll take a picture.

Maybe just for now,

I’ll take a picture.

In and out my life, you walk

Long lengths of time and short spurts, we talk.

By my side, in my mind.

Gone from sight not from mind.

Little things to remind, what you meant and mean to me.

To shed that single solitary tear, I take a picture to keep you near.

Never forget, always remember.

So long ago, that distant September.

And if time should never bring us back together,

Your picture will keep us close forever.