Another year gone.
Another day is done.
Another revolution around the sun.
New dreams born.
Fears, hates, desperately spurned.
Did you cry last year?
Did you laugh last year?
Did you cling to simple hope last year?
Did you hurt last year?
Did you tickle a rib last year?
Did you lift your face to the sky last year?
Then, maybe you have lived this last year.
In what is to come.
There is much to fear.
But then, there is reason for hope,
in this new year.
Lift your face to the sun this year.
Lift your voice in song this year.
Don’t forget the strength of your heart this year.
There is hope to be found this year.
If you but know where to look this year.
As long as you live this year.
There is hope.
Look deep within, that which is you.
Find your bliss, and then go pursue.
The thing that makes you jump for joy.
The things that cause you, your heart to employ.
The things that challenge,
And sometimes cause you to rip out your hair.
These things are things to reach for this year.
Ignore the things, that are far too big to handle.
Rather, look inward.
There you’ll find things, that life cannot dismantle.
There is hope this year.
If you but have courage this year.
Believe me, you can this year.
If you but have the will this year.
Believe it or not.
It’s in your hands.
Despite all you see,
that might reprimand.
Have faith and believe,
in all that you are.
And you will accomplish much this year.
Welcome to 2017!
Happy New Year!
I recently decided that I want to take on the 100 day poetry challenge. But decided I should try writing a poem a week first. I used to do this some years back. Anyway, here’s a old poem I wrote over a decade ago.
Come To Me
Come to me and let us talk.
Let us talk till moon and stars are gone.
Let us talk till sky and sun are one.
Come to me and let us talk.
Let us talk till sand and sea is gone.
Let us talk till you and I are one.
Take me in your arms my dear.
Let me feel your tenderness so near.
Come let me reach down deep inside of you,
and touch those places hidden from view.
Come to me beauty and let us sing together.
Come to me…Let us flow together.
In harmony, you and I, we’ll hum together.
Your song shall resonate in me.
And my song shall resonate in you.
And we’ll crescendo in a blaze of fire.
The sun will seem warm in comparison,
to the heat of you and I together.
So my dear, you’ve heard the words.
Now all you need to do is…Come to me
I was looking through my Dropbox folders, and came across this video. It’s one of the last rehearsals of the last song I wrote while still in the UK.
I have been so busy in Berlin with singing at events etc, I’ve not done much by way of writing. Though, if all goes according to plan, I will be able to rectify that within the next few months. Anyway, here’s the most up to date version of ‘On My Mind’
So, to combat the fact that I hadn’t written a poem in an age (last was in October), I went to a nearby park to sit, think and see if I can reconnect with myself. In the end, I was able to write:
Letter To A Friend
When I feel down,
As I have for the past few months.
I pick up the pad you gave me,
And I read the words you left me.
You have much faith in me,
These days I can’t see why.
I often feel like a failure to myself
As well as to my loved ones.
Especially around certain times of the year.
I often wish I could see,
What you see, when you look at me.
I would love to draw strength from that
And know that there is much,
Or at least a little to claim pride in.
I look ahead, to see.
To see what lies before me, and the path is not clear.
I feel tis a narrow road and I must clear a path for myself.
I look to my past. To previous thoughts and readings,
I am reminded that David often had cause to encourage himself.
I have trouble trying to draw parallels with him.
Even as I did when I was a man of faith.
I hear words from my favourite tv characters,
The Doctor, Merlin, Sherlock et al
Yet, I could not presume to place myself among such exalted company.
Though, if I would seek greatness, is it not their kin I must look to?
Can I not draw parallels here?
Is it too late to try?
Am I unworthy?
Who is worthy, if I cannot be?
All is in my hands.
But where do I turn?
I feel like a rudderless ship. Adrift in a storm.
With no idea which way is my North.
I look around to seek out answers.
In times gone past, I was told,
Look to the hills, as from there comes my help.
But I am no longer that man.
Those words no longer belong to me.
They belong to another.
I know not who.
Many moons ago, I was told of a destiny that was mine.
Is it no longer for me?
The underlying sadness I felt, even as a man of faith.
Remains, tears and claws at me.
The tenet I hold in hand.
Do what your hands find to do.
This I continue to do.
I am not comfortable.
And this is fine.
If I was, I wouldn’t fight, I wouldn’t try.
But I know not what I am supposed to do.
My strength has never been born of myself.
Ever was it born from others.
As much as I hated it,
It would appear I was never truly independent.
And much have I hated that.
You were the strength I never knew I needed.
In truth, I’m not even sure I wanted.
I fought you.
Because I fear that is all I know.
For good or ill, this has been my help.
Who do I fight?
Where is the iron to sharpen me?
And so I am lost.
I’m sure that in time, I will find my way.
It is me afterall.
In the meantime, I shall wait.
Try to find direction again.
I shall wait.
Unfortunately, it won’t be patiently.
At the end of every year I write a new poem to usher in the new year. Last year, for the first time in a number of years, I neglected to do so. I shan’t do the same this year.
2014 has been a year of change for me. In January, I graduated from my Masters degree in Music Performance, with a fairly clear plan for the year. I was going to travel to Italy, as I had done during the summer for a few years. I had planned to spend a few months there, then possibly head to Ankara, Turkey for another few months. Italy fell through, and I had to change my plans. Halfway through the year, I moved to Berlin. I write this on Christmas eve and I’m sitting on my bed (I’ll type it up later)
It’s my first Christmas away from the UK in over two decades. Though I’ve spent the season on my own in years gone by. It feels quite different to be in a new country that I am yet to be able to call home. And as I prepare to celebrate my first Christmas away from home, I gain new respect for the many international students I have known over the years. I don’t know how you did. Though, I’m glad you did, and I am richer for knowing you.
As I sit here, I think on the future. For the last decade, I had followed a plan. I’ve come to the end of that and I have no plan now. And I’m not ashamed to tell you that it’s a scary place for me.
A new year beckons.
A new day begins.
As this new sun rises,
A new season begins with it.
A season of hope.
A season of joy.
A season of fulfilled dreams.
A season of new drive.
A season of new challenges.
Just like any other.
But a season with new determination.
So you need not run for cover.
As we open ours eyes.
To face this new day.
We think new thoughts.
We dream new dreams.
We see new faces.
To guide us on our way.
We step into new phases.
And in joy, our heads we lay.
Purpose must drive you.
And circumstance, not beguile you.
You need to be clear,
on who it is you are.
Be that one,
who believes in dreams.
Be that one,
who knows dreams can come true.
Lean not on excuse.
Don’t let fear stop you.
Negativity, you must refuse.
Else your tears proceed to drown you.
And when dark days come.
As they tend to do.
Reach deep inside,
To the strength in you.
Forget not, who you are.
Neglect not, your distant star.
Rather, stand firm for what you believe.
Reach far and you may yet receive.
Be brave and you’ll achieve.
Be true to you and in yourself believe.
As the new day begins,
see in it, a new hope.
See in it, a new chance.
And don’t be afraid.
Look back, to see where you’ve come from.
Then look forward, see where you’re going.
With a smile on your face, and hope in your heart.
Know that the future is indeed bright!
Happy New Year everyone! Make 2015 amazing! 🙂
Of late I’ve been thinking. In truth, I never seem to stop thinking. The thoughts lately are generally centered around dreams and having them come true, or otherwise. And the question is always ‘Do I Dare Dream?’
On my last day at Kingston International, as I was leaving the office, I said goodbye to a friend of mine. While doing so I confessed being rather afraid of the unknown next step. To which she responded “You’re not scared of anything”
Now, I’m thoroughly glad that I come across as fearless and full of confidence, even cocky to many I come across. To a friend that I trust, I have no qualms in confessing being daunted. I told her that I’d felt the same fear before many of my major life changes. I was quite afraid when I left my job and Vodafone on 05 to return to full time education. I was beyond scared when I stood for election to the post of President of the Kingston University Students’ Union, both times. And before leaving Kingston International, I was petrified. All that did not stop me from moving forward anyway. In truth, I hope it never stops me. I hope it continues to empower me. Every time I seek to take a step outside of that which I know to be me, there is fear. And the question is always ‘Do I Dare?’
Then I saw a status update by River Ram Press run by a friend of mine. And it said something along the lines of ‘Just write!”
So, here I am writing. As I begin, I haven’t a clue what I shall actually write, but write I shall nevertheless. Walking home from work and my randomised playlist started playing a song I very much love ‘Details In The Fabric’ and it got me thinking. It’s one of those songs that encourages you by evoking the tears if they need to come out. When you’re feeling a touch melancholy it can sometimes help to listen to an emotive song. It’s one of motivated me to write my song ‘Sunrise’
I’ve a friend who tells me it’s song that helps her feel better when she’s feeling somewhat morose. It always makes me happy to know that I’ve been able to write a song that actually comforts her when she’s feeling bad.
I somewhat amateurishly created a little video for it. I shared it an age ago, but here it is again:
I hope you enjoy it.
Heart Leads Head.
It’s a mantra that we in the creative field simply must follow. We may never consciously state this to ourselves, but it still is the methodology for us.
Our ‘product’ comes from being connected to something beyond ourselves, something many others may not understand. As well as being deeply connected to ourselves. We must portray the things that people feel and cannot express themselves. We must write so that people look at what we write and say
“Yes! That’s exactly how I feel!”
We’re supposed to be open to the ‘elements’ and must be buffeted, tossed about and torn in so many different ways. Yet we must harness that somehow and use that to choreograph, to dance, to sing, to recite poetry.
We are supposed to be the mouthpiece of people. We must be the ones to say “It’s 10 o’clock and all is well!”
And when things get rough, we are to console, we are to offer up our hearts as an offering for those in pain. We are made to take the pain and hold it, sometimes nurture it. Till it must come out in song, in verse, in dance in a movie. In whatever form our creative self takes. We often don’t have the luxury of an ear, for we are those ears. We are the eyes that must see and we are the mouthpieces that must speak.
Only the immensely lucky get to earn bucket loads of money. Despite working the same amount of hours and and even more, of those in Science, Business, Law etc.
So, why oh why would anyone consider studying such a subject? Why give yourself over to these creative forces?
If you have ever written a poem, a song, screenplay, and handed over to someone and had it profoundly touch their heart, you will know exactly why we do it. There is no better feeling than knowing you have captured an emotion and clearly depicted it in some form or another. It’s not always about the best way of putting words together, or the best angle to shoot a film from, or the best voice that sings. If a poem, a song, a picture manages to accurately capture emotion, it has caught something beautiful indeed.
We in the creative world strive to capture these fleeting intangible moments. We seek to make them last longer so they can be revisited and remembered. Our job is to completely give ourselves over to something bigger and believe that what is channeled through is is worth the time and effort.
It is a huge challenge. Do you dare take it up?