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Posts tagged “Drive

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(Cover) Relight My Fire


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Earth, Wind & Fire Medley (Cover)


New Year (2015)

At the end of every year I write a new poem to usher in the new year. Last year, for the first time in a number of years, I neglected to do so. I shan’t do the same this year.

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2014 has been a year of change for me. In January, I graduated from my Masters degree in Music Performance, with a fairly clear plan for the year. I was going to travel to Italy, as I had done during the summer for a few years. I had planned to spend a few months there, then possibly head to Ankara, Turkey for another few months. Italy fell through, and I had to change my plans. Halfway through the year, I moved to Berlin. I write this on Christmas eve and I’m sitting on my bed (I’ll type it up later)

It’s my first Christmas away from the UK in over two decades. Though I’ve spent the season on my own in years gone by. It feels quite different to be in a new country that I am yet to be able to call home. And as I prepare to celebrate my first Christmas away from home, I gain new respect for the many international students I have known over the years. I don’t know how you did. Though, I’m glad you did, and I am richer for knowing you.

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As I sit here, I think on the future. For the last decade, I had followed a plan. I’ve come to the end of that and I have no plan now. And I’m not ashamed to tell you that it’s a scary place for me.

Purpose

A new year beckons.

A new day begins.

As this new sun rises,

A new season begins with it.

A season of hope.

A season of joy.

A season of fulfilled dreams.

A season of new drive.

A season of new challenges.

Just like any other.

But a season with new determination.

So you need not run for cover.

As we open ours eyes.

To face this new day.

We think new thoughts.

We dream new dreams.

We see new faces.

To guide us on our way.

We step into new phases.

And in joy, our heads we lay.

Purpose must drive you.

And circumstance, not beguile you.

You need to be clear,

on who it is you are.

Be that one,

who believes in dreams.

Be that one,

who knows dreams can come true.

Lean not on excuse.

Don’t let fear stop you.

Negativity, you must refuse.

Else your tears proceed to drown you.

And when dark days come.

As they tend to do.

Reach deep inside,

To the strength in you.

Forget not, who you are.

Neglect not, your distant star.

Rather, stand firm for what you believe.

Reach far and you may yet receive.

Be brave and you’ll achieve.

Be true to you and in yourself believe.

As the new day begins,

see in it, a new hope.

See in it, a new chance.

And don’t be afraid.

Look back, to see where you’ve come from.

Then look forward, see where you’re going.

With a smile on your face, and hope in your heart.

Know that the future is indeed bright!

Happy New Year everyone! Make 2015 amazing! 🙂

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(Video) Soul Man

Video from Italy:


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(Video) Aint No Stoppin Us Now

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(Video) Long Train Running

Here’s another video…


Tell Me A Story

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As I write this just after 5.30am. I’ve been off work ill over the last few days and the joys of being ill mean I can be at my laptop now trying to write a blog. Of course, the good thing about being ill is the alone time and the time to think that I have. I remember writing a while ago about my my best songs/poetry coming from honesty. Well, I think I shall give that a try now with this blog entry. I generally don’t talk to people much about what’s going on in my mind. I think I shall use this blog for that. So I ask that you indulge me for a while, as I work through one or two things going through my mind.

It’s been over a month since my last written blog. I’ve been trying ever so hard over the least few weeks to write something, and on Facebook I even got friends to give me suggestions as to what I should write about. As I walked home from work about a fortnight ago, I started thinking about it. In trying to understand where I am now, I considered the last number of years and my progress.

As soon as I finished my undergrad degree, I started work as the President of the Students’ Union. The very day after that finished, I traveled to work in Italy for 4 months. On my return, also the very next day, I started studying for my Masters degree. Recently finished that and I haven’t started something else that’s quite as all encompassing as yet. I have a good job, I’m comfortable. And that’s the problem.

I’m itching for another project.  Itching isn’t quite the right word. Desperately seeking else I drown in comfortable, might be a better description. One of the reasons I left the 9-5 life many years ago was the feeling that has recently returned to me. The living for the weekend, the ‘loss’ of creativity. The hunger for something beyond the monthly paycheck or the occasional gig with the band.

I like my job. I love meeting new people and doing what I can to help them. I love the people I work with. Everyday I tell them that the only other place I’ve worked at that mixes the same blend of insanity and professionalism is the Kingston University Students’ Union. It’s unlike any other office I’ve worked at prior to coming to Kingston. That’s one of the reasons that I wanted to work at the International Office in the first place. Despite that, it’s not enough. I’m glad I will only be there until the end of July. I don’t regret taking this job. In truth, I’m happy I did. It’s reminded me that the 9-5 life is so not for me. I managed it for almost 10 years before coming to Kingston, only because the jobs were mundane enough, that my mind could be elsewhere all the while. I wrote my book while at work and I dreamed dreams of grandiose achievements while there. 10 -15 years later, and I have managed to scale some of the heights I had my eyes set on.

While I have indeed have set some new dreams/targets for myself, my current life means I have nothing left of myself at the end of the day, to create. The part of me that creates seems to be blunted, and try as I may to ‘sharpen’ it, I come up with naught. Now, as I sit at my laptop, I can feel things percolating again inside this little cranium of mine and I remember that I used to do my best writing at night. When all around is still, the sky is dark and number of those walking the streets counts in the single digits. Once or twice I would take a walk around Surbiton at stupid o’clock and breathe in the air. Walk to the river and watch its calmness and come back home to create. I would know it was time to stop writing when it started to get light out. My aim now, is to find a way that my optimum hours of creativity can be used to create, instead of trying to sleep. And my weekends need to be used on more than just trying to relax and recuperate in time for the week to come. Which means that when this job is done at the end of July I need to grab the bull by its proverbial horns and hold on tight. A new project is beginning to form in my mind. And this is good. I hope this will quell the gnawing feeling of disquiet and dissatisfaction that has been plaguing me these last few months. And that gives me cause to smile at 06.53 on this Wednesday morning.

Syfy am always consists of Smallville, then Buffy. Smallville’s just finished. Buffy next, then sleep. I’ve decided I shall return to the office tomorrow. Things to do etc. So, until next time people, have a great day!

SU President TJ Esubiyi 2009-10 d


My Dreams

I was taught a number of things when it comes to dreams. Here are but a few of them:-

1. Have dreams bigger than you

2. Write down your dreams.

3. Guard your dreams. Protect them, be very careful with whom you share them as not all you meet will aid you in bringing them to life.

4. Let some people know about these dreams. those that will encourage you and drive you, push you never to let go of them. they will keep you on course.

With that in mind, last week I sat down and decided to finally write down these dreams of mine. Here are a few of them:

  • Sell my poetry. (Frames, on mugs, in cards etc)
  • Write a few more books.
  • Open a music venue, where known artists can come to perform, as well as promoting local talent.
  • Continue travelling to perform.
  • Nurture local talent, in local schools and other educational establishments and give them to opportunity to perform on stage at the venue. Thus improving on their performance technique and helping to further inspire them to keep with what they’re doing.
  • Motivational speaker
  • All of the above would be under the umbrella of MusicTJ, which I’ve begun to cultivate in the last year or so. One large organisation which will include a number of different facets/departments. Educational (dance, music, writing etc), Events, Performance, Poetry, Speaking etc.
  • Mentor/Consultant
  • And remain open to other opportunities that may come about.

The fortunate or unfortunate thing about having a lot in your ‘box of tricks’ is that it’s hard to pin down a single thing you want to do. I’ve therefore decided not to stick to a single one. The REALLY hard thing now, is deciding what to start with. One thing I know with absolute certainty right now is that I do not wish to remain in the UK. I’ve been here most of my life and it’s time to move elsewhere. What I now need to do, is put together a model that I can pick up and take with me wherever I go.

There are still a number of things I haven’t put on here. I haven’t mentioned anything about my music as yet. And you know I love my music. I’ve a lot in mind for that. My mind has always been exceptionally full of things, and for such a long time I never actually believed I could do any of it. In the last seven years especially, I come across people who seem to believe I could do absolutely anything I ever set my mind to. It’s absolutely amazing how liberating that is!

I could afford it, I would have bought the MusicTJ.com domain name by now, just to make sure it’s mine at least. I still need to get the MusicTJ logo designed. So much to do, so little time.

Do not tread on my dreams. If you do so, I promise you, I will tread on you.





	

Insanity

I crave insanity
Insanity born of purpose
I crave insanity
Insanity that promotes drive.

That insanity that ignites passions
And makes you relentless
That insanity that drives creativity
So you can never stop.

That insanity that is unreasonable
And won’t accept what is.
That insanity that is wonderful
And only sees the beauty in all.

That insanity that will look beyond
Beyond the veneer
And see the truth
See the beauty beneath.

Inject me with this insanity.
For the world is becoming far too sane.
We can no longer see things that really matter.
We live in the sanity of the material.
The sanity of what we can touch.

I’d rather have the insanity
of what I cannot see.
I cannot see the love,
that gently encapsulates my mind

I cannot see the inspiration
that causes me to write.
And yet I trust in both
Both push me to fight.

Our hearts no longer beat for each other.
Our hearts no longer beat for truth.
Our hearts just beat for ourselves.
We leave the rest to rust.

Please give me this insanity
That insane thirst for knowledge
I want the insanity of love
That stupid fleeting thing.

I want my insanity
That childhood glee
No thought of what should
And what should not be

Give me insanity
It is my fondest plea
Wrapped in a world
Ripe with possibility

The thing that causes
our hearts to flutter
Is insane it’s true.
But it draws me out of the gutter

So yes, give me insanity.
I need not your reasoning.
Give me insanity.
For it is the reason I’m still breathing.


Dream Big

Ever must we dream.
Ever must we live.
We must build our dreams stone by stone.
We must dream big.

For what is the point in small dreams?
They serve no purpose.
They challenge none.
They mark the status quo.
They mark the daily trudge of the un-attaining ones
You are not such.

Ever must we dream.
Ever must we live.
We must build our dreams stone by stone.
We must dream big.

Build dreams that scare you.
Build dreams that task you.
Build dreams that take you beyond that which you already know.

Ever must we dream.
Ever must we live.
We must build our dreams stone by stone.
We must dream big.

Build dreams that make you.
Build dreams that wake you.
Build dreams that wake you to the wonders of this world.

That make you the one you would become.
That take you to the place you finally belong.
That break you and remake you into one to shape a world.

Ever must we dream.
Ever must we live.
We must build our dreams stone by stone.
We must dream big.

For hopes and dreams are marvelous things.
They open your eyes, when closing is easier.
They make you move when sitting is simple.
They make you run when walking is preferred.

Build dreams that shake you.
Your dreams won’t forsake you.
Build dreams that take you to the very ends of the world.
Build dreams that take you beyond past sorrow.
For your dreams are your passport to a brighter tomorrow.

Build dreams that push you.
Build dreams that stress you
Build dreams that make the simple unacceptable.

Reach for the improbable
Make a lie of the impossible.
Reach beyond and grasp the unobtainable

For, ever must we dream.
Ever must we live.
We must build our dreams stone by stone.
We must dream big.