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P.s. I do not exist

Came across this writer, who had ‘liked’ one of my poems. I just had to repost this piece of hers. 🙂

That Hippie Chic

“Strange is my story,
Stranger are the memories
And here I stand barefoot beneath the sky, wondering –
Who am I?

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As the briny water washes my feet seeking forgiveness, the sand beneath wants to drag me in;
conspiring to swallow me once and for all.
I stand firm trusting my broken wings.
Lessons learnt.
I carry jagged pieces on the inside;
Still try to fathom constellations inside my head.
I smoke seashells by the seashore, trying to bottle the urge of tides to kiss the moon;
For I’ve known the consequences long enough – being ruined grandly.
I kiss my scars. Victory.

I’ve loved the sky as much as I’ve loved the sea.
The only wrong I was doing all this time was –
Hunting for seashells in a sky full of stars.

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Berlin Update – One year on

Saturday marked exactly a year since I moved to Berlin, so I figured I should write an update of some sort.

On the 1st of August 2014, I hopped on a one way flight out of Heathrow, and was met in Berlin by two friends of mine, Sandra and Christina. Scared out of my mind and thoroughly excited, we jumped in a taxi, which took me to my new home in Schoneberg. New sights and new experiences awaited.

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Having left a job to begin life as a freelance musician, the adventure was twofold. New country, new career direction. A year later and I’m beginning to get a hang of things in this strange new world. The first few months were spent living off my savings. I spent an inordinate amount of time sitting in the local park, reading and soaking up sun. I had no clue as to how to tap into the vast musicians’ network that Berlin is home to. Especially being as horrendous at networking as I am! I went to a few meetup events and attended a particular event at a karaoke place. There I met a young lady who told me of her uncle who is a drummer here, and she could put us together. I chatted with him and he gave me a plethora of names of people to get in contact with. I messaged them all via facebook and a few responded. Once that was done, I joined this vast world of musicians based here. I performed every week at a club that was based in Charlottenburg, Jagger. Said club has since closed down. (Nothing to do with me, I promise!)

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As an unknown name, I obviously performed for free. I had to return to the UK in Sept to sell the last of my things. My keyboard being the most precious. I do miss it dearly. Though, I will eventually get myself a new one. I didn’t get my first paid gig till November. Since then, I have been working regularly with a group of people, performing at birthday parties, weddings etc, travelling around Germany. I have also twice performed in St Petersburg, Russia. And now that I seem to be settled with regards to events to pay the bills etc, I can start looking at forming my own band and writing my own material once again. I have thoroughly missed creating and I look forward to getting back to it.

I have since moved from Schoneberg, I now live in Friedrichshain. An area in the east of Berlin, where I find soooooo many internationals, it’s amazing.

I would love to tell you that it’s been all smooth sailing, but it hasn’t. It has been the most challenging time of my life to date. I was unaware of how safe my previous life was until I moved here. i.e knowing that every month I will have an income to pay bills etc. I have in essence, gone off in business by myself. My product, me. It’s a strange new world that I am yet to get a handle of. But if there is anything my life to date has taught me, it’s that I can do whatever it is I wish to do. No matter how strange or beyond me it may seem at first, the instant I decide I want to do it, it becomes possible.

One year done. Let’s see what the next year has in store. I remain scared and excited! 😉

Dare

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That Time Jamie Oliver Made “Jollof Rice” #JollofGate

Rant-y African't...

Yes, guys, it finally happened – they finally got their hands on Jollof rice!

Some context for those who don’t know what Jollof rice is: Jollof rice is one of the 7 wonders of Africa. The list goes: Nelson Mandela, Cape Town, Jollof Rice, Senegalese Twists, Lupita Nyong’o, Shea Butter, and P Square. People might disagree with this list (feel free to add your own list in the comments section. Don’t curtly state your disagreement and move on, ok? Don’t be rude), but the point is that Jollof rice is a BIG deal.(Horrible) songs have been written about Jollof rice. Case in point: this god-awful song by Fuse ODG:

Jollof rice has even caused  a diplomatic tension/Cold War of sorts between Nigeria and Ghana over who actually owns this dish (it actually originated in Senegal, but I’m sleep).

In Nigeria, Jollof rice is sacred. It is not just the…

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The Ram Boutique: Highlighted Author – TJ Esubiyi

I’m featured in the River Ram blog. 😉

River Ram Press #InspireWriters #InspireReaders

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Take That First Step

By TJ Esubiyi

Do you want the moon?

Then you must take to the sky.
Do you dare try?

Do you dare dream?

Take that first step and your future you’ll glean.
Be it fame.

Be it fortune.

Or life’s simple joys.

Take that first step and your worth you’ll deploy.
I promise you not happily ever after.

I cannot foretell what tomorrow will hold.

But I promise you this, one simple truth.

Nothing is possible until you take that first step.
That step into life.

That step into love.

That step into adventures far and near.
That step to the future.

That step to the unknown.

That step that takes you out of your current sphere.
Do you yearn to reach the furthermost star?

Do you burn to learn the best that you are?

Is there a version of existence you wish was yours?

Is…

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New Beginnings

For a writer, I really do seem to suck at this blogging thing. In my defence, I’ve been trying to figure to figure out the next chapter in my little life. Just over month ago I left my job at Kingston University. My almost a decade at KU and end and pretty soon i was on a one way flight to my new locale.

 

I always said that I studied for a reason, and that reason wasn’t to sit behind a desk. There’s nothing wrong with it, I worked behind a desk for almost ten years before returning to study, and it confirmed that’s it’s not what I’m looking for out of my career.I wasn’t seeking the 9 to 5 life. Despite thoroughly enjoying my time at Kingston International, it was never my final destination.

 

The last few weeks before I left were more than a little crazy, and my final days prior to leaving were even more so. One or two things showed up, that if not for the fact that a flight had been booked, a flat found and all necessarty preparations had already been made, I might have called it all off and stayed in dear old Kingston.

 

I’ve heard it said that sometimes to find yourseelf, you need to lose yourself. I couldn’t possibly count how many times I’ve lost or found myself. I seem to be on a perpetual journey of self discovery. My time time here in Berlin has been no different in that regard. While I’m here in dear Berlin, I shall see what life wishes to teach me.

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The new general secretary of NATO – Jens Stoltenberg

Came across this. I didn’t write it. Wish I had, so it had to be reblogged.

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Apparently NATO has turned it into a habit of picking former Scandinavian prime ministers to the important post of being their general secretary. The current GS is a former Danish prime minister and the next one is a former Norwegian prime minister.

So what is the world getting when we have Jens Stoltenberg looking out for us? We’re getting this guy (Putin, be afraid. Be very afraid):

Jens Stoltenberg - muscles from Oslo Jens Stoltenberg – muscles from Oslo

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Tell Me A Story

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As I write this just after 5.30am. I’ve been off work ill over the last few days and the joys of being ill mean I can be at my laptop now trying to write a blog. Of course, the good thing about being ill is the alone time and the time to think that I have. I remember writing a while ago about my my best songs/poetry coming from honesty. Well, I think I shall give that a try now with this blog entry. I generally don’t talk to people much about what’s going on in my mind. I think I shall use this blog for that. So I ask that you indulge me for a while, as I work through one or two things going through my mind.

It’s been over a month since my last written blog. I’ve been trying ever so hard over the least few weeks to write something, and on Facebook I even got friends to give me suggestions as to what I should write about. As I walked home from work about a fortnight ago, I started thinking about it. In trying to understand where I am now, I considered the last number of years and my progress.

As soon as I finished my undergrad degree, I started work as the President of the Students’ Union. The very day after that finished, I traveled to work in Italy for 4 months. On my return, also the very next day, I started studying for my Masters degree. Recently finished that and I haven’t started something else that’s quite as all encompassing as yet. I have a good job, I’m comfortable. And that’s the problem.

I’m itching for another project.  Itching isn’t quite the right word. Desperately seeking else I drown in comfortable, might be a better description. One of the reasons I left the 9-5 life many years ago was the feeling that has recently returned to me. The living for the weekend, the ‘loss’ of creativity. The hunger for something beyond the monthly paycheck or the occasional gig with the band.

I like my job. I love meeting new people and doing what I can to help them. I love the people I work with. Everyday I tell them that the only other place I’ve worked at that mixes the same blend of insanity and professionalism is the Kingston University Students’ Union. It’s unlike any other office I’ve worked at prior to coming to Kingston. That’s one of the reasons that I wanted to work at the International Office in the first place. Despite that, it’s not enough. I’m glad I will only be there until the end of July. I don’t regret taking this job. In truth, I’m happy I did. It’s reminded me that the 9-5 life is so not for me. I managed it for almost 10 years before coming to Kingston, only because the jobs were mundane enough, that my mind could be elsewhere all the while. I wrote my book while at work and I dreamed dreams of grandiose achievements while there. 10 -15 years later, and I have managed to scale some of the heights I had my eyes set on.

While I have indeed have set some new dreams/targets for myself, my current life means I have nothing left of myself at the end of the day, to create. The part of me that creates seems to be blunted, and try as I may to ‘sharpen’ it, I come up with naught. Now, as I sit at my laptop, I can feel things percolating again inside this little cranium of mine and I remember that I used to do my best writing at night. When all around is still, the sky is dark and number of those walking the streets counts in the single digits. Once or twice I would take a walk around Surbiton at stupid o’clock and breathe in the air. Walk to the river and watch its calmness and come back home to create. I would know it was time to stop writing when it started to get light out. My aim now, is to find a way that my optimum hours of creativity can be used to create, instead of trying to sleep. And my weekends need to be used on more than just trying to relax and recuperate in time for the week to come. Which means that when this job is done at the end of July I need to grab the bull by its proverbial horns and hold on tight. A new project is beginning to form in my mind. And this is good. I hope this will quell the gnawing feeling of disquiet and dissatisfaction that has been plaguing me these last few months. And that gives me cause to smile at 06.53 on this Wednesday morning.

Syfy am always consists of Smallville, then Buffy. Smallville’s just finished. Buffy next, then sleep. I’ve decided I shall return to the office tomorrow. Things to do etc. So, until next time people, have a great day!

SU President TJ Esubiyi 2009-10 d


What do I fear?…

If I was to write about what I feared. I would use almost the same words. I love this piece.


This is quite apt indeed.


Did you see a jay?

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