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Do I Dare

Of late I’ve been thinking. In truth, I never seem to stop thinking. The thoughts lately are generally centered around dreams and having them come true, or otherwise. And the question is always ‘Do I Dare Dream?’

On my last day at Kingston International, as I was leaving the office, I said goodbye to a friend of mine. While doing so I confessed being rather afraid of the unknown next step. To which she responded “You’re not scared of anything”
Now, I’m thoroughly glad that I come across as fearless and full of confidence, even cocky to many I come across. To a friend that I trust, I have no qualms in confessing being daunted. I told her that I’d felt the same fear before many of my major life changes. I was quite afraid when I left my job and Vodafone on 05 to return to full time education. I was beyond scared when I stood for election to the post of President of the Kingston University Students’ Union, both times. And before leaving Kingston International, I was petrified. All that did not stop me from moving forward anyway. In truth, I hope it never stops me. I hope it continues to empower me. Every time I seek to take a step outside of that which I know to be me, there is fear. And the question is always ‘Do I Dare?’

Do I dare dream?
Do I dare strive?
Do I dare go beyond what people think of me?

And the answer that pushes me to take that step is always a resounding YES. And it’s yes simply because I want more.

I want more for my life.
I want more than just strife.
I want more opportunities
That help me fly.

I want more from existence.
Reward for persistence.

I want more more more more more.

So I’ll give more of my time.
I’ll give more of my life.
I’ll give more of the breath.
That breathes life to my lungs

I’ll give more of my love.
And when push comes to shove.
I’ll give more more more more more.

I’ll risk more of my heart.
Risk more of my mind.
I’ll risk more of the being.
That’s hardly refined.

I’ll give more for my goals.
And then loudly propose.
For more more more more more.

There will of course need to be a point when I will settle and finally put down some roots. And my next step after Berlin will bring me closer to that point. I don’t believe Berlin to be that place. At least not yet. In my plan, it’s a place to mark time for a while. And soon enough it will be time to continue the march, after adding a few more arrows to my quiver.

Interestingly enough, a few days before I wrote the main body of this, i.e focus on fear etc, an episode of Doctor Who was aired (I’m a big fan! Yup, I’m a nerd!) It focussed on fear and how it an be a great motivator. I watched and listened as words were spoken:

Used to comfort a child, and then later used to comfort an ancient Timelord. I may no longer harbour the fear of the dark , or of whatever may be under the bed, but fear still exists in me nevertheless. I think it always will. Here’s hoping it continues to drive me.

Till the next documentation of my journey. Don’t forget to smile!

 

Ps: The poem above ‘More’ has been adapted to a song. I hope to record this within the next few weeks.

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