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Identity

Identity

There’s a person I want to be.
Yeah, a person I need to be.
Each and every day I look in the mirror,
And it’s not him staring back.

So I get rid of you.
Let go of you, detach from my emotions
And end up detaching from myself.
Spending so much time in my head,
not enough time outside.

Way too much time thinking.
Not enough time experiencing.
Too much time analysing, words, expressions, motives.
Not enough time simply living.

So I end up staring in the mirror,
At the stranger staring back.
And wonder about this peace,
I seem to lack.

A stranger to myself,
I seem to be.
Inside my head,
I can no longer see.

“Why are you so damn sentimental?”
My father once asked me.
It’s simply who I seem to be,
I wanted to reply.

Worked hard to suppress,
This sensitivity, I cannot repress.
How do I address?
How do I redress?
The old tears still lurk, beneath the surface.
Lying in wait, to flow like an endless waterfall.
But it holds, the dam holds.
While I dry what belies.

There’s a person I want to be.
And I’m not sure I’m becoming him.
I fear I’m too far from him.
But maybe if I begin living again…
There’s a person I want to be.
Yeah, there’s a person I need to be.
Each and every day I look in the mirror.
And it’s not him staring back.

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