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Contemplate

Contemplate

There’s something about life.
That tries to turn the knife.
Then you try to reach out to people.
But you don’t know how to speak.

You don’t know how to say what belies.
Your heart, you long ago lost.
And your mind tells constant lies.
You can’t find your usual friends,
because, well, they’re not there anymore.

So what do you do?
You try to make some new ones.
But how?
You long ago forgot how to reach a heart.
You long ago forgot what really makes the heart beat.
So you break apart and begin to lose coherence.

How then, do you pull yourself back together?
When you’re unsure how to react to jibes.
And you’re terribly certain you’ve begun to give off bad vibes.
What do you then do?
Resort to violence for every bad word?
Threaten to punch someone for every indiscretion?

Reassessment of self is never an easy thing.
Reassessment of self is often a Herculean task.
Someone tell me how to feel.
Remind a bit of who I am.

Somewhere down the drain, I may have flushed him.
Pick up a picture and tell me it’s my mind.
Show me what it is that makes me tick.
Remind me of my past.
Show me how I came through old hurts.
Ask me how I defeated previous enemies.
How did I meet my greatest challenge?
How did I bring down that obstacle in my past?

Show me my strategies.
Show me my action plans.
Show me the implementation
And I will follow said same plan,
to future success.

Remind me of the strength I have since lost.
Help me gather up the pieces that have since turned to dust.
From my old self esteem,
Help me clear the rust.
It will help me move forward.
It will help me push past current barriers,
And push past current pains.

I once said writing is cathartic.
It truly is.
Maybe therein lies my strength.
Maybe therein is my lost self esteem.

There is something about life.
That tries to turn the knife.
Life will always try to bring you down.
The question is;
Just how strong are you?

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